Leading the hectic life as I do, it’s rare that I get the chance to take a step back and start to reflect on how good my life really is. We all get distracted by the other simple annoyances and irritations in everyday life, that we tend to take advantage of what’s already there, and just moan about what’s not. What we strive to have and work to achieve. So its good every now and again to just take a few hours out. Maybe you’re watching a film, maybe you’re on a train (that’s where I usually am), maybe you’re doing some work in the library or just laying in bed doing sweet FA listening to some good songs! Whatever it is take that time to appreciate what is, and think about the real importance of what’s not.
If something is taking up all your energy and emotions and it’s just not worth your time, stop doing it. People can take advantage of traits you carry just because it makes them feel a little better.
Being on a 3 hour coach journey back from London has definitely given me time to reflect (while accompanied by Beyonce’s voice!). Sometimes the people that are the most important are the ones you just don’t expect, and you need to take the time out to appreciate those people and let them know “YOURE GREAT & IM SO GLAD WE’RE FRIENDS”. A simple text can go a long way, yet being caught up in the hustle and bustle we rarely do it.
Yet sometimes there are times when you need to take a step back and think ‘ok (insert your name here) is this really worth the effort and upset’ and sometimes the answer will be YES, in which case you talk to that person and if they care for you enough they will appreciate your words and you’ll figure it out. However, other times its just better to let it be what it is and remove yourself from the situation. It might not even be anything major like a fight, it could simply be that they’re just not interested enough to make the effort that you would. Sometimes the things that are not said are the ones that cause the problem in the first place! Crazy right!
Ever heard the saying “actions speak louder than words”, well its true, you can tell the world that someone is your best mate. But the truth is, if neither of you are even bothered with the other, then you’re really not. Not to say a BBFL needs to be your partner in crime 24/7 but when the time comes, you know distance or silence never changes your friendship.
Often there is a crossroads and you have to decide which way you’re going to go (very philosophical I know!). It might take years, months or maybe just weeks to decide which road you’re going to take. But once you do it feels good to be one step closer to making your happiness happen for you!
I’m a culprit of sometimes trying to make other peoples happiness happen so much that I forget about myself and then turn round a few weeks later and wonder why I’m so moody all the time. Its because more often than not, people use what you bring them to just bring you down, we all do it, and sometimes it will just be the situation in hand and a one off. But have it done too much and you just get drained.
Often at this point I isolate myself from everyone and everything just because it’s easier that way, to be on my own and not have to deal with it. But getting away, having a break and then looking at it all clearly and reflecting on what’s really important and what’s just not worth the time anymore really helps. I guess with anything this is a really good tool to use.
We have to accept that sometimes things happen that are just out of our control, and no matter how many times we flash that smile, or go out of our way to try and do the right thing. It will never be enough for some. That’s life!
I’m happy to say that most my close friends from school and home are still just as close now! We may be dotted all over the country (or world in the case of some!) but when we can, we all make the effort to just subconsciously say “I really appreciate that we’re mates”.
And I’m even happier to say that I have made other friends since then, even in the short time that I may have known them (most only a year and under) I know that they’re the good eggs!
As mad as it sounds, making good friends is an experience of trial and error. Sometimes we think we have found our soul sister, and a few months in, shes off with the next best thing. But don’t get upset and down about it (although I know we all do!). She just wasn’t the one, wasn’t worth your time and energy.
"We’re all human, which means we are selfish by nature. The ones that take the time out to be selfless… They’re the keepers! .
I guess you could say that this is my little indirect message to all my good’uns and say cheers, for just being you!
O x